It's been awhile, a few weeks without incident. My husband was actually on pretty good behavior. But, yesterday, his old ways crept back. We have a lot going on this week......both our daughter and our son are planning on going away for the weekend. One to Denver, one to Boston. Our daughter is going to Denver, it's a matter of the flight, which I always worry about....but, she is going with her boyfriend who we trust and they are going to meet his Dad. So, the trip has merit and I understand her going. My son, who is in college, wants to make the 6 hour drive to Boston at night. This involves driving through NY at high traffic times. If all goes well, he won't be in Boston until close to midnight. In time to go to sleep. (He and his girlfriend, who we also love, are going together to stay at my son's friend's apartment). They will have Saturday in Boston then need to drive home on Sunday as they have class on Monday morning. I don't understand how all this driving is worth it for one day...why don't they go when they can stay for a few days? My son is supposed to be saving for a trip we are taking in June. I suggested, I offered, to pay for a train for him AND his girlfriend to go to Boston. This way, I don't have to worry about traffic. The train would get him in at 8 AM Saturday and he wouldn't have to leave until 3 PM on Sunday. So, his time in Boston is unaffected. The costs would be less for him, not more, since I would pay for the trip - if driving, HE is paying for gas.
I am only saying all of this as background to the reason my husband was ANNOYING last night. My husband is CHEAP. He puts his own needs ahead of everyones, thinks of himself first and foremost. Only after he has mulled around any impact on his life will he allow his brain to wander into thinking about someone else. We were talking to my son, he had us on speaker phone. His girlfriend is right next to him. I asked if he had thought about the transportation issue any further. (Meanwhile, my husband is fuming, internally, that I offered to pay for the train...has been for a few days.) My son has a huge test this morning and said that he and his girlfriend would talk about it and decide today, after the test. While talking, my husband, who had to mute his show so we could hear (which annoys him-as if tv is SO freaking important), was getting increasingly testy. He was sitting on an afghan my Grandmother made and he always tucks it, hard, between the pillow cushions. My Grandmother passed away over 10 years ago and the afghan is getting worn. I pulled the afghan out of the cushion so it would not be stressed. My husband FREAKED out, while we were on the phone. He angrily slammed the afghan back between the cushions. I thought he would tear it. I didn't want to have a fight while on speaker phone so I walked across the room. He angrily spoke, saying "where are YOU going with the phone?!".....so, I sat down in order to avoid a fight. After we got off the phone, I left the room. When he came upstairs he was slamming doors, fake coughing to interrupt my show, sighing LOUDLY, in other words, trying to annoy me and distract me and gain my attention. When I asked him what was wrong, he started yelling that our son shouldn't go, it was stupid, and it was expensive and we can't afford it right now. (In other words, he doesn't want to pay for it). He kept on and on and on and on until I thought my brain would explode. I am a worrier and that's an understatement. I was the one to originally say I wasn't happy with the trip but my son is 22 and we can't really do much to stop it. All I could do was look up ways to make the trip less dangerous. I don't worry about master card balances like my husband. My card only has around $400 on it, so what is the big deal? I use it to spread out payments, but I pay things off. I would do that with the tickets. My husband doesn't like that.
So, instead of calmly supporting each other, my husband berated me and unloaded all his insecurities and then went to sleep. So, there I sat, with my own worries AND his anger , Once again he only adds to my troubles. Oh, how I would love a husband that would support and lend a compassionate hand.
Why are some men so selfish?
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